you dont wanna read this.

assalamualaikum && hello

i found a subtle change in me, hormone raging? slowly, but ongoing. usually people ponder why did they work out so hard when they was younger. the vague feeling of being insatiable, wanting everything and anything which brought out the monster in themselves. immature and obnoxious.

but im feeling it NOW. and i dont really favour it, really.

things were harder before but everything was more under control. i put up my white flag easily before, because i loathe perpetual bickering. but now, i can hardly save any emotions inside. if anything burns me up, i'll start screaming my lungs out, not literally. the invisible walls before my throat has vanished. *pooff

somehow im not trying to figure out the old me even i believe it is better than the current me, in certain side perhaps. when you're the kind of pulled back by the little pieces of memories, the most thing you gonna tell yourself is to move on, which i did. so im gonna give myself ample time to reconstruct, download the patience i left somewhere, turn sideways the overwhelming exasperation into something more err positive? 

ok. good luck yours truly. hewhew

and happy birthday to all my october babies - ANAZ, IDA AND ZATTY. you guys make me believe october babies are awesome. only Allah knows how much i love you guys. (even i didnt wish HB to non of you -.-)

tfmka

xoxo